With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it can be easy to get caught up in the expectations that surround it. This year, refuse to allow a depressed economy, credit card bills and the high cost of gas, groceries and utilities to take a toll on your relationship. The retail industry desperately tries to instill a guilt trip if one doesn't proclaim to the world their undying love through showering their beloved with flowers, candy, or shiny baubles. The older I get, the more I realize it's time to reject the commercial driven influence and intentional hype of Valentines Day. 

Fun fact: The origins of Valentine's Day are believed to be rooted in the celebration of Lupercalia, (A.D. 270) a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture. Whether fact or fiction, I know I'm certainly not celebrating a Fertility Festival. Yikes!

     You see, aging, while not pleasant, has afforded me the opportunity to view things from a unique perspective. I now recognize that life itself is nothing more than a spec of moments in the overall timeframe of existence. Let me guess, you're probably thinking, "Gee, Tammie, such optimism, I can't wait to read more of the gloom and doom chronicles." Seriously though, this revelation has helped to make me very aware of little things that both intrigue and annoy me. The good, bad, and ugly if you will. 

     Case in point. Traveling down the wrongly named "expressway" at 6:15 a.m, singing at the top of my lungs to sappy '70 and '80 love songs, it is no surprise I find myself waiting at yet another stop light. I look around and can't help but laugh at the undeniable looks of judgement and smirks of condemnation from my fellow highway motorists. Their obvious disgust for my behavior either stems from the fact that I'm not "acting my age" or rather, they are simply allergic to morning people.

     Married for almost 40 years, trust me, I know the non-morning person look. I am very aware of the stark differences between morning people, and well, NOT morning people! One would think that after so many years, our many differences would have merged to form a somewhat, meet in the middle, marital evolution; NOT even close!

    Admittedly, I had no idea of the commitment that would be expected from the ceremonial "I do" and pledging to "love until death do us part". Discovering I had married a non-morning personality was simply one of many idiosyncrasies that would surface! Hubs is definitely NOT a morning person. He prefers to stay up late, and sleep half of the day; me, I am quite content calling it an early night and up before dawn. I must ask, "what's up with non-morning people anyway?"  Seriously, why do non-morning people have to have a good 45 minutes alone with their coffee before someone can even say "good morning"?

     All things considered, there is something to the solace found in a relationship that is comfortable and still remains fun. Relationships weather life's storms, trials come and go, and disagreements, or dare I say, arguments happen. LOVE is constant, whereas LIKE can be subjective and dependent upon the day. C'mon, you know it's true.

     Yes, I'm a romantic, but also realistic. Back in the day, Hubs and I shared a mix of blind faith and idealistic beliefs that we could simply "live on love." What can I say? We were young, in love and ready to take on the world. We lived paycheck to paycheck and yet, somehow, we were happy. However, life has a way of changing things up. Once kids came along, our reality train radically collided with our non-problematic world. Yes, having kids forced us to grow up, and grow up fast. When I think back, I can't help but shake my head in disbelief as I wonder how we survived those painstaking, difficult years.

     Back then, we struggled to make ends meet, and Valentine's Day was simply not a necessity, nor in the budget. When I think back on those days, I become angry; yes, angry that I allowed one single holiday to have the power to make me feel less than. Now before anyone gets their panties in a wad, let me be clear. There is nothing wrong with giving flowers, candy, or even dining out to express your love. I just want to encourage you to look beyond commercialism. 

     Reality is a real eye opener and offers a distinct learning curve. 

1. A candlelight dinner hurts your eyes and makes it difficult to see your food.
2. Taking a walk in the snow isn’t romantic, it’s cold.
3. Going for a walk in the summer makes you sweat and let's be real, old people sweat is not attractive.
4. He still whispers those three little words, "hey, you awake?” 
5. Yes, it's true and I'm just going to say it. Size DOES matter! The size of your house, the size of your car, and most important-the size of your CLOSETS!
6. Never pinch a snoring person's nose closed, this can be dangerous...who knew?
7. The best way to resolve conflicts-he concedes!
8. Cable news means you don't have to stay up until 10.
9. Dinner AND a movie are code words for celebrating an anniversary, birthday, or Valentines Day.
10. Whispering sweet nothings in your ear is pointless when the other person keeps saying…what?

      This Valentine's Day, forego the crowds, the expense and just kick back. Order a pizza, stream a movie, catch up with old friends and just enjoy the present. Whether married, single, rich, or poor, the key is in the ability to laugh, embrace each day, search for the silver lining in the midst of a storm, and realize that, in the end, everything else is just stuff!  

Happy Valentines Day